My children are getting too smart. They’ve obviously realised that there’s no point asking me to buy them toys all the time (you’re just getting sucked in by people who want to sell you plastic crap .. said with a demonic look and eyes rolling – don’t worry, the markets will be on soon and you can swap things there). So now they’ve decided to bypass the small guy and go straight to the top! All week they’ve been writing letters to Santa. Fortunately today Santa wrote back to me in appreciation of my efforts and to let me know that he’s actually on my side. And I was shocked. For the first time ever Santa is angry – and I mean really really angry.
He sent me this letter to pass on to Frank Sartor and Morris Iemma (he didn’t even start with “Dear”)
Mr Sartor and Mr Iemma,
HOW DARE YOU! Here I am at the “coalface” so to speak – trying to save my home which is melting rapidly and trying to get to as many of the sick and starving children as I can – knowing that they will soon lose their homes too … and what do you do but go and approve more coalmines – you should not have said yes to the Anvil Hill mine. ARE YOU OFF YOUR HEADS! I will not go on because anger does not suit me BUT let it be known now and for eternity that neither you, nor any of your family members, will ever receive Christmas presents from me again. You have committed the most unforgiveable and offensive crime against the children of the world and history will judge you harshly,
I must “cool down” because the ice around me is melting so fast, so I am asking one of my ecowarriors to pass this on to you,
please do not bother to write back,
North Pole (but not for much longer)
PS. And Mr Howard is no better … I will not forgive HIM for not allowing my elves to relocate to Australia.
Well, so much for the other political activities I was contemplating doing today – Santa’s
job has to take priority. I’ve printed 2 copies of the letter and sent it to our Premier and his sidekick.
Trying to calm down myself I’ve spent the day “cocooning”. I’ve been a domestic goddess and, in between massive cleaning bouts, have been doing the long and fiddly job of seedsaving. Getting the seeds out of sunflowers takes forever but, as the wind howls outside, I dream of a garden full of these happy flowers again next year. The same thoughts dreamily pass through my mind as I crack bean seeds out of their pods, brush coriander and dill seeds off their stems, rub the flesh off pumpkin seeds and strip dried rosemary off aromatic little sticks. I’m saving these sticks, too, for making kebabs. A way to scent food from within on a barbecue
As I’ve been cleaning I’ve also been experimenting with one of the “green” tips I got from Friends of the Earth. They suggested making a scourer out of the plastic nets that oranges come in. I tied mine in a knot then wrapped it around itself. But that’s as far as I’ve gone. I’m not THAT much of a domestic goddess. It’s Ian’s job to do the dishes so I’ll have to wait for his feedback as to whether it works or not!